What Insecurity Does to Freelancers
I always tease an acquaintance—who is no less than a prodigy at design—that his extraordinary skill killed my design ego. The quality and promptness of his work is simply so superior, it’s at a level that’s practically impossible for me to reach.
That’s a reason why I’ve taken less design projects lately, and focus more on writing. My insecurity as a freelancer has made me realize that perhaps that I’m not cut out for design, and at the same time has convinced me that writing could be my real vocation.
My personal experience indicates that there are two ways insecurity can affect our freelance careers. As I’ve related, interacting with a masterful designer on a regular basis made me insecure about my design skills. For me to compete in this field, I need to vastly improve my design capabilities, something that I current have neither the time nor patience to do.
I also feel insecure whenever I encounter wonderful writing, because a part of me thinks that I’m not capable of matching such proficiency. But another part of me knows that I can contend in this field, that I can be a damn good writer. So in this case, my insecurity actually serves as an incentive to intensify my efforts to improve my writing ability.
When I look at how my own insecurities can lead to two very different outcomes, I realize that perhaps our lack of confidence makes our real passions obvious. It makes us stop doing what we’re actually not interested in, and at the same time pushes us to work harder at what we hold dear. I willingly decided to focus less on design, most likely because it wasn’t important to me after all, while my continued commitment to writing proves my devotion to that field.
I’m pretty sure that all of us have felt insecure about our own abilities, fellow freelancers. How do your insecurities affect your freelance career?
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POSTED IN: Living as a Freelancer, Ramblings of a Freelancer
4 opinions for What Insecurity Does to Freelancers
Evan Meagher
Jan 3, 2008 at 9:36 pm
I think that with the right mindset, anyone can teach themselves to see insecurities as constructive criticism and learn to act accordingly to better themselves. If you encounter a designer better than yourself, a positive response would be to feel compelled to learn that new technique or fiddle around with new colors and styles, as opposed to wanting to change direction.
Simone Brunozzi
Jan 4, 2008 at 3:07 am
It happened at least twice to me: once about programming skills, the other one about Second Life building/scripting.
I believe that, some way or another, you have to find ONE thing in which you succeed pretty well, without a better person around. It’s very difficult to deal with being second, when you’ve been first for a long time :-)
Good luck!
Rico
Jan 7, 2008 at 1:47 am
Guys, I think you’re right: I may have let my insecurities scare me into quitting, instead of reviewing my abilities objectively. I will reconsider my decision. Thanks for the thoughts, specifically your “positive response” Evan, and dealing with being second Simone! :)
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